All the right things
by silver lametta
Summary: The Apocalypse is in full swing. Meanwhile, Castiel starts experiencing human emotions. Dean is trying to figure out his own feelings. Could it be more complicated? Set around Abandon All hope. WARNING: slash Dean/Castiel
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **All the right things. Chapter 1

**Category: **Hurt/Comfort/Friendship

**Rating: **K+

**Author's notes:** This chapter is set right before Abandon All Hope

I'd like to thank my Beta Reader - **RhiannonNymph** for editing. You're awesome!

***

Chapter 1

***

Dean Winchester was lying on a bed with his hands behind his head. It was another dark and dusty motel room, one more in a long line of the thousands he's been in. The lights were off, and the street lamps outside the window threw pale beams across the room, making patterns on the wall.

The late evening was cold and unwelcoming. Dean wondered what was taking his brother so long. Sam was out checking the few leads they had - nothing too serious or promising for Dean to join him. He only hoped his little brother wouldn't forget to grab a pie on his way back.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a rustle coming from the dark. Dean turned his head, startled. He wondered how he could miss the sound of the opening door and glanced at it, expecting to see his brother. But it was not Sam.

"Cas?" surprise was evident in his voice. He'd heard nothing from the angel for a week. He knew Castiel was busy trying to find God, and Dean tried to be patient. He decided there was simply no news to share. However, he was glad to finally see his friend.

He wanted to complain about Cas popping in without knocking but, when he saw the angel's face, he decided not to.

Castiel looked worn and tired. His hair was tousled and his shoulders were hunched in an unusual manner. Dean wondered if everything was okay. He sat up and watched the angel curiously.

"Hello Dean." Castiel's eyes were on the floor, his arms hanging limply along his slender form. It seemed like he was trying to avoid glancing at the hunter.

"Cas, are you ok?" Dean asked, worry evident in his voice.

"I… I don't know…"

"Are you hurt?" the hunter was more anxious now, his eyes scanned the angel's body searching for injuries, but saw nothing in the dimmed light. Castiel noticed his concern.

"I'm fine Dean… my vessel is fine, too…" His voice was rougher than usual. "Where is Sam?"

"He's out"

"Can I…can I stay here for a while?" he asked.

"Yeah… yeah sure, Cas, c'mere" Dean moved aside to make space for him.

Castiel approached him and sat on the edge of the bed silently.

"So… do you want to talk?" the hunter asked carefully. He didn't know what to do. He wasn't very good at comforting. It was always Sam who did all those heart-to-heart talks.

"C'mon, tell me what happened, dude".

"That's the problem, Dean," the angel replied bitterly still not looking the hunter in the eyes. "Nothing has happened".

Dean frowned in confusion and Castiel replied to his unspoken question.

"I cannot find him, Dean… I cannot find my Father… " his voice broke. "Everything I do is useless…"

"Oh, Cas," Dean sighed. So that's what it was. Relief washed over Dean.

Castiel shook his head. His lips were quivering.

"I… I don't know what else to do, Dean." the angel continued. "I did all within my powers. I have obeyed orders. And I've broken so many rules. I rose against my family. I have betrayed my brothers and sisters…" he finally looked at Dean.

In the dim light of the room Dean saw tears glistening in his eyes. He looked so fragile, so defenseless. Nothing resembling the Castiel he knew. The hunter's chest tightened. He felt a sudden urge to protect him, to wrap his arms around him, but he held back. Cas didn't need protection. He was a soldier of the Lord. And Dean realized that his feelings for Castiel were irrational. He was worried about him. It was something he only felt for Sammy before. He cared.

"I did all of this and I thought it was the right thing to do." Castiel's slender fingers gripped the edge of the bed. His knuckles whitened.

"It was, Cas. It was a right thing. You did nothing wrong." Dean assured him. But Castiel shook his head frantically.

"No, Dean… I think…" he swallowed. "I think… maybe… Raphael was right…"

"What d'you mean Raphael was right?" Dean asked worriedly. It hurt so much to see Castiel like that.

"Maybe he did leave us" the angel finally muttered. "Maybe… our Father is not here anymore…".

"No, no, no, no." Dean shook his head. "Don't say that, Cas." his hands reached over to grab his friend's shoulders. He tilted his head to look Castiel right in his eyes. "Listen to me. Raphael was wrong. You shouldn't let yourself lose your faith, Cas".

Despite his own attitude towards God, Dean was sure that everybody should have something to believe in. Faith makes people stronger. And not only people.

Castiel looked at him searchingly. "How do you do it, Dean?" he finally whispered. "How can you be so sure in everything you do? How do you never doubt?"

Dean bit his lower lip. He knew exactly what Cas was feeling. He'd spent so many sleepless nights in doubt. So many times he had questioned John's actions. But he never showed that. Because he had Sam. He needed to be strong – for his little brother.

But Castiel, he had nobody. He had been banished from Heaven and he was alone.

"I have, Cas," he finally whispered, not fully trusting his voice. "I have doubted. Hundreds of times." he squeezed the angel's shoulders and felt the warmth radiating from his body. "But I have never, never lost my faith in him." And it was truth.

He saw the first tear rolling down the angel's cheek. On impulse, Dean reached out and wiped it away with his thumb.

Castiel's skin was smooth and soft under his fingertips. Their eyes met.

"Please, Cas," he whispered. "Please, don't lose your faith". _I need your faith_, he wanted to add. But that was too chick flick of a moment. He tried to ignore the angel's warm breath on his face. They were so close Dean could count his eyelashes. He was amazed at how long and thick they were. Though Dean couldn't say why exactly he was thinking about Castiel's eyelashes. He ignored that thought and added quietly: "If we give up now, they will win."

More tears rolled down Castiel's face. Dean wondered whether he was crying for the first time in his life. After few seconds of hesitation he bent forward and wrapped his arms around him. The angel was stiff at first but then slowly melted into the hug, wrapping his own arms around Dean. In an instant, it wasn't awkward anymore. It was warm and comforting. Dean felt Castiel relax and bury his face in his shoulder.

"Yeah, that's right … let it go," the hunter whispered in his hair, stroking his back in a soothing motion. It felt strangely natural to do so. He knew it was a right thing to do.

Pleasant warmth started growing inside his chest and Dean wondered what that was about. He never questioned the nature of his feelings too much and simply gave in to it. He only wished his heart wasn't pounding so hard and loud against his ribcage for no obvious reason. It was just Cas after all. Dean sighed and further relaxed.

They sat like that until Castiel stopped crying and was sobbing quietly, arms still wrapped around Dean. It was hard to say how much time passed. Dean thought that he might have drifted off for a while.

Suddenly Castiel lifted his head, looking Dean in the eyes. Dean glanced at him questioningly.

"What is it?" his voice was hoarse as if the hunter was crying himself.

"I have to go." Castiel muttered and freed himself from Dean's embrace.

"Cas, wait." Dean's hand chased his shoulder but the angel had already stood up.

"Thank you, Dean." he said before disappearing into the dark.

"Cas" Dean made one more attempt to stop him but it was too late. Castiel was gone.

"Feathery bastard" he muttered to himself.

The room felt cold and empty again. Even emptier than before.

The next moment Dean heard the door opening. Then Sam came in.

"Hey, I brought you a pie," he said as he tossed some paper bags on the table.

Dean didn't reply. He was staring into the dark thoughtfully.

"By the way, nothing interesting on our case" Sam added, a bit surprised by the lack of response from his brother. "Dean? Are you okay? You look… dumbfounded."

"Um... I'm fine," Dean said and then stood up approaching the table.

Sam reached for his laptop and started it, eyeing his brother suspiciously.

Dean opened the paper bag and withdrew a plastic fork and his pie. He dug in absent-mindedly and frowned. The food was tasteless. He threw the fork on the table and resumed his spot on the bed.

"What is it?" Sam asked, concerned.

That was a good question. One Dean wanted to get an answer to himself. What was it all about?

"Guess I'm not hungry anymore".

***

_Thats all for now. More chapters are coming. Would be great to know what you think so reviews are welcome!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: **All the right things. Chapter 2

**Rating: **K+

**Author's notes: **Hey, guys, sorry for delay, I was away but I'm back now! Here's Chapter 2. It is also set before Abandon All Hope.

Again, special thanks to **RhiannonNymph** for editing.

***

Chapter 2

_Two weeks later…_

***

He was bleeding. A nasty wound on his right shoulder burnt like hell; and Dean knew very well how Hell burnt. He laughed bitterly at the thought, but it sounded more like a hiss.

The way he got the wound was stupid. It was all a blur now. He barely remembered the last two weeks, as if it was all a dream. He and Sam had stayed at Bobby's, waiting for something nasty to rear it's head. No demons had appeared lately. It seemed like all the evil had hidden somewhere. Dean was sure it was just the calm before the storm.

The idleness was unbearable. Cas was gone again and Dean had heard nothing from him since his last visit. Memories of that evening haunted him despite all attempts to distract his mind.

He remembered how he and Sam decided to drop into a bar earlier that day and have a few beers. It was just another try to fill the strange emptiness inside his chest from Castiel's absence.

He was already tipsy when a group of men started pestering a woman sitting next to them. And Dean went to bat for her. It was something he always did - protect the weak.

Apparently, nine bottles of beer had slowed his reaction as he missed how one of the men withdrew a knife and stabbed him in his shoulder.

So, Dean was bleeding. He thought it was pathetic – after hunting so many demons, ghosts, zombies and other evil crap – to be stabbed by a drunken idiot in a bar.

He barely remembered his brother dragging him to the Impala and driving back to Bobby's.

He laid shirtless on the sofa in the living room while Sam patched him up.

"How is he doing?" Bobby asked, looking over Sam's shoulder.

The younger hunter frowned. "Well, the wound is pretty nasty," he said "But he'll live. He could use some painkillers though."

Bobby shook his head. "He can't take painkillers now. Alcohol is still in his system."

"Yeah, you're right," Sam agreed.

Dean groaned and was about to argue, but stopped mid-sentence as he heard a noise coming from the next room. Sam hurried to check it.

It was Castiel. His blue eyes glistened anxiously.

"How bad is he?" the angel asked worriedly, approaching the younger hunter.

"He'll be okay, Cas. And by the way, hello to you, too," Sam replied.

Castiel ignored his words and brushed past him to the living room. He stopped at the threshold, spotting Dean on the sofa. The angel's facial expression was unreadable.

Dean lifted his head from the pillow and smiled weakly.

"Cas," he greeted, his voice hoarse.

"Hello, Dean. How do you feel?" the angel asked calmly, eyeing the hunter's patched up shoulder.

"I'm fine," Dean assured him. "But those bastards won't let me take painkillers."

"Because somebody got really drunk today," Sam explained appearing in the door frame. Castiel approached the sofa and towered over Dean. He glanced once more at the bandage on his shoulder. Blood had started soaking through it.

"Why did you do that?" he finally asked, his blue eyes studying the hunter pensively.

Dean raised his eyebrows. "You mean why did I protect that woman?"

Sam and Bobby turned to them, watching the scene silently.

"I mean why must you always be so reckless," Castiel explained evenly.

Dean made an effort to sit up, but pain surged through his shoulder and he laid back, frowning. He didn't understand what Cas was trying to get at. His wound was killing him and obviously he wasn't in the mood for a fight.

"Because that's how I am, Cas. Deal with it," he said, irritated, and then added "Why does it matter to you, anyway?"

"I will tell you why, Dean Winchester." He sat on the edge of the sofa, not breaking eye contact with the hunter. "How do you think I should react when my charge, the supposed savior of the mankind, gets stabbed in a drunken bar fight? Don't you think that's reckless considering that the world is at stake?" He bent down while he talked so his face was inches from Dean's, blue eyes piercing green. "You know I can't heal anymore," he added quietly.

Dean got mad. He hated being treated like a stupid human.

"Oh, I get it," he replied angrily. "You don't trust me. You think if I've screwed up this whole Apocalypse thing, I can't do anything right."

"Yes, Dean, you have… screwed up. You could have just listened to me sometimes."

"And why should I do that, again?"

"Because you are my charge, Dean, and I should help you. But how can I help you, if you never listen to me?"

"You were banned from Heaven, remember? You don't have to baby-sit me anymore. If you think I am a lost cause, then go and do whatever else you think you have to."

"I can not do that. Banned from Heaven or not, I have to protect you."

"Why are you so eager to protect me anyway? Maybe you're just worried that this stupid ape would damage your big brother's costume? Maybe you hope that if you do what they want, they'll take you back to Heaven. Well guess what? Your family is a bunch of dicks! They'll never take you back."

He wasn't sure what was making him say all these things he didn't really mean. It was probably the pain making him angry and defensive. He regretted it the second he said it.

Castiel's eyes darkened. "I understand," he finally said. "Thank you for explaining to me what you think, Dean." The next second he disappeared.

Heavy silence hung in the room.

Sam was the first to break the silence. "Uh… what was all that about?" he asked, surprised.

Dean covered his face with his hand but said nothing.

"Girls having a fight." Bobby shook his head disapprovingly and turned in his wheelchair away.

***

The room was stuffy, it felt like there was hardly any air to breathe. Dean had a fever and couldn't sleep. The pain had increased and was pounding hard in his shoulder. He was tossing from one side to another. It was torture. He couldn't even get up and open the window or get something to drink. He didn't want to wake his brother up, he knew Sam had a hard day, too.

He also thought that he deserved a little suffering after what he said to Castiel. He remembered the look of hurt in his eyes and frowned.

"Cas…" he whispered, shutting his eyes.

"Yes, Dean?" he heard the familiar voice.

Dean's eyes snapped open. At first he thought it was fever talking to him. But then he felt his bed moving as the angel sat right beside him.

"Cas?" he repeated with surprise, still not fully trusting his eyes.

"It's me." His voice made Dean's heart skip a beat, but the hunter didn't notice.

"What… what are you doing here?"

"Checking on you," came the reply. A cold hand touched Dean's sweaty forehead, and he gasped. "You have fever."

"Yeah, I kinda noticed that."

They were silent for a while. Dean didn't know what else to say, and Castiel didn't hurry to talk either. He didn't move his hand away and was just staring through Dean as if he was considering something.

"I am sorry, Dean. For what I've said tonight," the angel finally murmured, meeting the hunter's eyes. "I… I didn't mean it."

"It's okay, Cas, I know you didn't. It's me who should apologize".

The angel shook his head. "You did the right thing. Your actions were justified. I believe the fault is mine." He paused. "I was so... blinded with emotions. Emotions that I cannot understand…. It's not supposed to be like that. But I was… angry."

"I know, I know, you were angry. I screwed up the whole don't-start-the-Apocalypse thing."

"No, it's not that. I was angry before, but tonight… it wasn't about that."

"What was it about then?" Dean had started to loose the thread of their conversation as Castiel's fingers moved from his forehead, through his damp hair while he talked.

Another time Dean would have protested and said it was weird and that friends don't do things like that. He would have also mentioned their 'personal space treaty'. But the feeling of Cas' cool fingers on his heated skin was so good that he just closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation.

"I am not really sure," Castiel finally said. "I dislike the idea of leaving you for my quest. You are my charge and I'm responsible for your safety…" his fingers moved back from Dean's hair to rest on his temple. The hunter felt his skin burn under Cas' fingertips.

It felt like the fever had been subsiding. "And it appeared that I was right. You did get hurt."

"How did you find out what happened anyway?" Dean asked, his voice hoarse.

"I just felt it," he replied simply. "There was a feeling… like something had been removed from my chest… I believe that is what you call worry…"

Dean smiled weakly. Cas was worried about him. Somebody who wasn't his family truly cared about him. He felt that already familiar warmth spreading through his chest.

"And I am sorry that I cannot heal you as I could before," the soft whisper sounded suddenly very close to Dean's ear. Castiel's warm breath caressed the skin on his neck.

Dean thought the angel probably still didn't understand the true meaning concept of 'personal space'. But the hunter didn't complain about it. He closed his eyes and swallowed. It felt like sandpaper in his mouth.

He was afraid to move. He was afraid to even open his eyes. He felt Cas' fingers move from his temple down his cheek. When they touched his neck, Dean opened his eyes.

"Cas, what are you…"

"Do you want me to try help you or not?" the angel asked seriously.

Dean felt a soft hand touch his aching shoulder and a cool wave soaked through the bandage, easing the pain in an instant.

He relaxed and finally drifted off into relieving sleep.

***

_That's all for now. Reviews are welcome, they inspire me! Constructive critics, too :D_


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: **All the right things. Chapter 3

**Rating: **K+

**Disclaimer: **Not mine! I'm just having fun, really.

**Author's notes:** Hey, guys, I'm really sorry for delay! Life happened to me but I'm here now. Here is the Third chapter. It is set on the eve of Abandon All Hope, after their little party.

Again, special thanks to **RhiannonNymph!**

*******

Chapter 3

It was the night before the trip to Carthage.

Dean was staying in his room at Bobby's trying to get to sleep after their little get-together, but couldn't. A strange presentiment filled him and wouldn't let go.

He had grave doubts about their plan, but he didn't show it in front of his allies. He thought about the people staying in the next rooms, and his chest tightened.

At this point there was nothing better than to share simple joys with the ones he loved. Homemade dinner, drinking competitions and meaningless banter – that was all he could wish for.

They were the only family he had. And tomorrow he would put all their lives in great danger.

He turned in his bed, trying to get more comfortable but it didn't help.

He soon realized that tonight he probably wouldn't get any sleep at all. He considered going down and sneaking into the fridge, grabbing another beer. That idea sounded really appealing and after a moment of hesitation, he got out of bed.

He walked down the stairs and headed to the kitchen, trying to be quiet. On his way, he noticed the front door slightly open and went to check it.

The night was chilly and Dean shivered as he reached the threshold. A single light illuminated the wooden porch outside, framing a silhouette of a man in a trench coat sitting on the upper stair, his shoulders hunched.

"Cas? What are you doing out here?"

"Oh, hello, Dean," the angel replied, glancing over his shoulder. His blue eyes glistened

feverishly in the dark, proving that he was still tipsy after his drinking competition with

Ellen. Apparently it was possible to get him drunk, eventually.

Dean approached Castiel and looked into his face. "Cas, we talked about this, man. You can stay in the house while we sleep. No need to stay outside."

"I know…" Castiel mumbled. "But I like it here. The sky is… beautiful at night. The stars are so big," he explained, shifting his head to the dark sky thoughtfully and sighed. "They remind me of home…"

Dean tensed. He remembered the night, not so long ago, when Cas visited him in despair. They had never discussed that again, so he never knew what was happening in the angel's head. He wanted to help him desperately, but didn't know how.

Silently, he sat next to the angel and looked up at the sky, too.

Castiel was right, it was beautiful. Dark blue, almost black, clear, studded with stars that shone like thousands of diamonds. It was mesmerizing.

They sat like that for a while, unaware of how much time passed.

Their shoulders and knees touched slightly and it felt comforting. It didn't surprise Dean though. Not anymore. He got used to Cas' presence comforting him and he'd come to accepting it. It was probably his angel mojo or maybe that's how you felt being around your guardian angel. He wasn't sure.

Castiel was the one to break the silence. "I miss them, Dean," he said quietly, almost inaudibly. "I miss my family," his voice trembled slightly. "And I probably won't see them ever again." he added bitterly.

Dean decided that maybe Cas was more than just tipsy, after all. His voice sounded more… emotional. More human than ever before.

But what could Dean say? "I'm sorry, buddy, for screwing everything up?" or "Don't worry, man, everything will be okay?" That was bullshit. He couldn't make promises like that. Most likely, it would end up bad for all of them.

The last thing he wanted to do was lie to Cas. He could pretend to be fearless for his little brother, he could be brave for Jo and Ellen. Hell, he even tried to be cheerful with Bobby.

But not with Castiel. It was useless, as he knew those dark blue eyes saw right through him.

And as if hearing his thoughts, Castiel turned his face to the hunter and said:

"The strange thing is…" the corners of his lips twitched in an un-Castiel like manner. "I don't regret any of it."

Dean looked at him in surprise.

"What was the name of that alcoholic beverage, again?" the angel asked suddenly. "The one Ellen gave me?"

"It was tequila, Cas," Dean answered, eyeing him attentively. He saw Castiel's lips move soundlessly, repeating the name of the beverage.

"Right, that one." Castiel nodded. "It makes me feel… light, like a feather…"

Dean chuckled at that remark. Seeing Cas like that amused him. He tapped the angel's hand lightly and frowned as he felt how cold it was. "Dude, you're freezing. Didn't know you could freeze."

Castiel looked at his hands curiously as if he suddenly realized something.

"So that's the strange feeling I have in my limbs means. It is quite unpleasant.. It stings …It feels almost like pain."

"C'mon, dude, we should get you inside. Who knows, you might get sick now, too.

We really won't need that tomorrow."

Dean stood up and Castiel followed him. But as he made a step he stumbled clumsily. His

feet were numb.

Dean caught the angel's hand and put it over his shoulder to help him.

"You need some rest, dude" he said. "We're gonna need you refreshed and sober."

Castiel looked at him, surprised. "I am sober."

"Yeah, sure you are, buddy." Dean chuckled.

He led Castiel inside the house and headed upstairs to his room.

There was no other place for the angel to stay, as nobody assumed he would need one. But Dean decided that if his friend could get drunk and cold now, he could probably use some sleep, too.

He wrapped one arm around Castiel's waist to support him as he opened the door with the other one.

They stumbled together over the threshold and Dean hoped they didn't make enough noise to wake anyone up.

"Here we go. Lose the trench coat." the hunter turned away to shut the door.

When he turned back, he saw Castiel fighting the first sleeve without success. Apparently, angels of the Lord weren't used to dealing with human garments at all.

Especially after thirty shots of tequila.

"Um… Let me help you, Cas." Dean approached the angel and grabbed the lapels of his trench coat, pulling them down swiftly.

It all happened very fast. One of the sleeves didn't give in and Dean pulled it a bit harder to take it off. Castiel shrugged it off, losing his balance and stumbling towards Dean, knocking the hunter down. Dean made a step back, trying to keep balance but couldn't.

He fell on the bed with a thud, pulling the angel after him.

They ended up lying on the bed – Castiel sprawled on Dean, their faces inches from each other.

"Dude! You should really lose some weight!" Dean mumbled with a frown.

Castiel said nothing, just locked eyes with him, with that gaze that always pierced and made Dean feel so exposed and vulnerable.

"My apologies," he finally said but yet didn't move.

Dean felt warm breathing on his face and his heart started beating faster. But even if Castiel noticed it, and he most certainly did, he didn't show it.

Dean lowered his gaze to Cas' lips. They were so full and plump and the hunter found himself unable to take his eyes off from them.

Castiel licked his lips, either noticing Dean's stare or having the same thought. His lips were slightly parted now, and Dean thought that, if he shifted his head just a little bit, he could find out how they tasted. That thought sent butterflies to his stomach.

And at the moment he closed his eyes, deciding to go for it, the door opened with a squeak.

"Dean? Are you asleep?" it was Jo's voice.

The hunter jumped, shrugging Cas off to the side, but the girl obviously noticed that.

She froze in the doorway, eyeing the two on the bed in confusion. "I… uh… sorry for interrupting. I thought you were… alone…." she finally mumbled and turned around, leaving.

"Jo, wait!" Dean stood up, attempting to follow her, but the next second the door was shut, leaving. The hunter and the angel were alone again.

"Dammit!" the hunter moaned and punched the door with his fist.

Castiel watched him from the bed, looking guilty.

Dean paced from one corner to the other a few times, then sat on the edge of the bed, covering his face with his hands.

What was he thinking? Kissing a guy, really? And not just any guy- an angel of the Lord?! And not just any angel, but Cas, his ally and his friend?! Now Dean was sure Cas wasn't the only one drunk. Apparently, the beers he had earlier had still clouded his consciousness. There was no other explanation.

And the worst part was that Jo saw them. What would she think about him? What if she tells everyone else about it? The possibility that Sam or Bobby would find out about it scared the hell out of him. He could already see their faces.

"Son of a bitch!" he groaned.

"I am truly sorry, Dean." Castiel said, sitting next to him. "I have deprived you of having a sexual intercourse tonight."

Dean laughed at that bitterly.

"Yeah, you should be, dude." he looked at the angel and saw the guilty look still on his face.

Dean's frustration was momentarily gone. He couldn't be mad at Cas. After all, it wasn't his fault that Jo saw them like that. Well, not entirely his fault.

"It's okay, man, forget it. I'm not mad at you."

Castiel still watched him with disbelief.

"I hope she doesn't tell the others, though." Dean mumbled.

"Tell what?" Castiel tilted his head to the side as he always did when he tried to understand something about humans that was beyond his knowledge.

"Um, well, you know… She saw us… I mean you were… she could have thought…"

"Dean, I don't understand a word you're saying."

Dean really hoped he didn't look as flustered as he felt. He tried once more though.

"Cas, man… she could have thought that we were, um…" he stammered out.

"Dean, why are you blushing?" Castiel asked curiously.

"Dude!" the hunter snorted. His face burned indeed, but he courageously ignored it.

"Forget it, Cas. You should try to sleep now. We really will need your angel mojo tomorrow."

The angel said nothing, though he continued eyeing the hunter as if there was something he realized about him.

Dean helped Castiel to take off his jacket, his shoes and his pants, trying not to think about what he was doing. He also prayed that Jo hadn't come back and find them like that.

Then he folded one of the blankets in the middle of the bed explaining to the angel that it was the "border" and he should stay on his side unless he wanted to get punched.

Castiel laid on his side obediently, facing Dean. His tousled hair darkened on the white surface of the pillow. Dean felt a sudden urge to touch and tangle his fingers in the dark locks, just like Cas did with his own hair few weeks ago. But he subdued that urge and shut his eyes tightly, trying to avoid images of what had just happened.

He was already drifting off when he remembered the thing he wanted to ask.

"By the way, Cas, where did you get the words 'sexual intercourse'? You know, it sounds weird. People don't talk like that."

There was no reply.

Dean opened his eyes to check whether the angel was still there. He was. To Dean's sheer surprise and amusement, Castiel was asleep.

***


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: **All the right things. Chapter 4

**Rating: **K+

**Disclaimer: **Not mine! I'm just having fun.

**Author's notes:** Okay, this fic is getting way longer than I've expected. But it's beyond my control, lol.

My beta reader, **RhiannonNymph, **made me think (whoa) and inspired me to add one more chapter before the last one. So here it is.

***

Chapter 4

Fire was everywhere. It burned his skin, heated the air, filled it with the smell of burning flesh mingled with pleading screams from tortured souls. Smoke stung his eyes and seared his throat, choking him. He was trapped.

He saw trembling hands reaching for him, begging for salvation; he saw pain and desperation in the suffering eyes. And yet, he continued torturing them, having lost control over his will.

Somewhere deep inside he knew he was dreaming, but it didn't help. The nightmare was so vivid, so real. It was all happening again and again and it was terrifying.

The screaming became louder and he suddenly realized that it was his own voice. He was screaming so loud he thought his lungs would explode.

And at the moment the pain became unbearable, he felt a firm grip on his forearm, and a steady voice called for him.

"Dean."

He tried to shake the hand off but the grip was too tight.

"Dean." he heard again.

His eyes snapped open as he sat on the bed, panting. His body was covered in sweat, hands gripping the sheets, knuckles whitened.

He blinked few times, adjusting his vision to the darkness. He was surrounded by a low-ceilinged room with wooden walls and used furniture. It was Bobby's guestroom, he realized with relief, right where he was before he fell asleep.

"Dean, can you hear me?" he heard the voice calling for him once again. It sounded familiar this time.

Castiel.

The angel was sitting on the bed next to Dean and the hunter needed few seconds to remember what he was doing there. He felt Castiel's hand gripping his arm right above his handprint.

"Um, yeah," Dean whispered roughly, wondering whether Cas' gesture was intentional or unconscious. The handprint tingled slightly through the thin fabric of his t-shirt.

Dean raised his gaze and looked at the angel.

Blue eyes pierced him; it felt like Cas was cooling his burning skin with his stare. A few minutes passed until Dean was able to tear his eyes away, feeling a little bit better.

Castiel was the first to break the silence.

"You had that dream again." It was a statement, not a question.

Dean said nothing. He wiped his face with his hands, removed the blanket and lowered his legs on the wooden floor, turning his back to the angel. He felt uncomfortable for letting Castiel see his moment of weakness and he had no intention of showing it any further.

But then something made him change his mind unexpectedly. He remembered how sincere Cas was with him talking about his faith, although he knew it wasn't easy for him. He also reminded himself that the angel had already seen him in Hell, so there was no point in hiding his weakness now.

"I was there again." he whispered, surprised at how weak his voice was.

He wasn't the type to share his feelings with anyone. But lately he felt closer to Cas, maybe because the angel became more open-hearted himself. Somehow, it felt right to share with him.

"It's been a while since the last time I had one of those nightmares. Thought maybe they were finally over… " he chuckled bitterly. "I guess that kind of stuff is never over."

"This is my fault." Castiel said suddenly.

Dean looked back at him over his shoulder. "You know that's not true, right?"

Castiel shifted on the bed uncomfortably. His eyes were full of sadness that he failed to hide.

"I shouldn't have let this happen," he finally said. "I fell asleep… I didn't know I could…

I believe it's because I am losing my powers. I failed to protect you. Again."

"You don't have to do it."

"I do," Castiel objected. It was simple, but his voice was full of confidence.

He moved closer to the hunter reaching out to his arm again. He carefully rolled up the short sleeve of Dean's t-shirt, exposing the handprint he once left there. His fingers traced the print carefully, as if he was afraid his touch might inflict pain.

Dean inhaled sharply at the sensation, although it was not pain that he felt.

"This," the angel whispered. "That is the reason why I should protect you. You are my charge."

A sudden realization struck Dean.

"Wait a sec…" he turned around fully to face the angel. "You mean, all these weeks when I've had no nightmares… it was you?"

It was Castiel's turn to hide his face. He looked down, folding his hands on his lap.

"I saw you suffer, Dean, I wanted to relieve your torment."

Dean snorted.

"So what, you visited me every night like a friggin' Fairy Godmother and turned pumpkins into coaches?"

Castiel looked at him, frowning.

"I don't require any vegetables to do that, Dean." he replied, his expression serious as ever.

Dean rolled his eyes.

"Dude, seriously?! Do you have any idea how creepy that is?!"

For a second Dean thought he saw Castiel roll his eyes, mirroring his facial expression.

"Yes, Dean. I know humans dislike being watched while sleeping. That is the reason why I didn't tell you."

Something tugged at Dean's heart at the awareness of the fact that Cas cared for him. But he did his best to hide it.

"You really don't have to do that. I'm good, man."

Castiel said nothing, but moved closer and sat at Dean's side, their shoulders brushing.

The hunter felt heat creeping up his neck at the contact. He stoically ignored it.

He wondered if Castiel did that with intent. Could it be that he knew how Dean felt being around him, lately? No, he couldn't possibly know that. Dean was sure he was good at hiding his feelings.

"I would do that no matter what you say, Dean Winchester." his voice was so authoritative it sent shivers down Dean's spine. "I would do anything to carry out my commitment."

Dean didn't know what to say.

Feelings overwhelmed him, but he didn't think he had the right to disclose any of them.

He was grateful to Cas for his loyalty and concern, that he was sure of. He was also utterly impressed by his power and determination. But something was bothering Dean.

It was the way the angel looked at him from time to time and the way Dean's stomach jumped every time Cas invaded his personal space. It was the way his cheeks flushed every time Castiel got too close. He sincerely hoped nobody else noticed that.

A low voice interrupted his thoughts.

"You need to rest now. There is not much time left until dawn."

"Oh, I don't think I will get to sleep any time soon, buddy." Dean made an attempt to get

up but Castiel's hand on his arm stopped him. He lowered his head to Dean's ear.

"I told you I will help you."

The closeness made the hunter shiver and he made an attempt to move away, but the angel's grip was very tight.

Dean felt the angel's breath tickling his ear as Castiel murmured incoherent words. Of course, the hunter didn't understand anything, but the soothing voice made him lightheaded. His eyelids became heavy and Dean felt his body giving to Castiel's will. He lowered himself on the bed slowly, Castiel's hand still holding him firmly.

"You feathery bastard..." Dean mumbled sleepily, lowering his head on the pillow. "Stop using your friggin' mojo on me…"

The angel whispered few more words and then added:

"You mind is protected now. You can sleep."

Then, to his great surprise – later he thought he had dreamed this part - Dean felt soft lips touch his temple, and linger.

"… should be glad I haven't punched you," was all Dean could manage to mumble.

And he could swear he felt Castiel's mouth curve into a smile against his skin.

***

Pale sunbeams were shining through old curtains, proving that the morning had come.

Dean winced and turned to the other side trying to hide his eyes from the disturbing light.

As he expected, Castiel was gone.

The hunter got up and headed to the shower, ignoring the slight emptiness spreading inside his chest. Otherwise he felt unusually refreshed, as if he'd had a full nights sleep.

He showered quickly and went down to check whether everybody else was awake. He tried not to think about what they were going to face later that day.

First, he needed to get some coffee to shrug off sleep completely.

He entered the kitchen to find Jo at the table with a steaming cup in her hands.

At the sight of the girl Dean remembered what happened the night before. He remembered himself and Castiel, on his bed, and the expression on Jo's face when she'd seen them and his cheeks blushed momentarily.

"Morning," he greeted, avoiding looking at her.

"Morning," she nodded. "Coffee?"

"Um, thanks." Dean poured the hot beverage for himself and joined her at the table.

Awkward silence hung in the room, interrupted only by sipping sounds and ticking of a clock on the wall.

"Sleep well last night?" Jo finally asked.

Dean shifted on his chair uncomfortably. Was there irony in her voice or was he imagining things?

"Yeah, thanks." he hesitated "Where is everybody?"

"Sam and Bobby are checking supplies. Mom will be down in a minute."

Silence settled between them for a while.

"Listen, Jo, about yesterday…"

"It's okay, Dean, no need to explain."

"No, listen, I know it sounds like a cliché, but it was not what you thought it was…"

"I didn't think anything, Dean," Jo assured.

Dean didn't have the time to reply as Sam entered the kitchen, Bobby following him in his wheelchair.

"Well, everything's set, I guess we're ready to go," Sam announced. He then noticed the expression on his brother's face. "Are we interrupting anything?"

They answered simultaneously.

"Yes." Dean sounded irritated.

"No." Jo was calm.

Sam frowned, eyeing them, and reached to pour some coffee for himself. Apparently, he decided to pay no heed to the weird responses he'd received.

Dean was afraid that Jo would mention what she saw last night but, to his relief, she said nothing.

They continued with breakfast, Bobby retelling them the latest news of recent demon appearances and discussing the replenishment of their weapon supplies with the younger hunters.

Then Ellen joined them and they spent the following twenty minutes verifying their plan.

The initial awkwardness between Dean and Jo was soon forgotten as they were preoccupied with their work.

That was until a certain angel suddenly appeared.

"Hey, Castiel," Sam greeted and everybody in the room shifted their heads to look at him. "You're right on time, we've just finished our preparations."

Castiel approached them silently and stood beside Dean, not glancing at the hunter. When he talked, he addressed everybody.

"I suggest that all of you reconsider doing this one more time. I have already forewarned you of the degree of danger. I can not guarantee that all of you come out alive."

"We know Cas," Sam assured him for the umpteenth time. "But we don't have much choice."

Bobby nodded in support.

"The kid's right, there's no choice. We don't kill that son-of-a-bitch now, next thing we know he's got a bunch of sidekicks with him."

"There is another way." Castiel objected. "I can try to do it myself."

"Cas, no."

Everybody turned to Dean. The hunter was looking up at the angel standing next to him. Castiel finally looked directly at him, tilting his head slightly.

"You can't do that alone, Cas," Dean explained.

"There is no less risk for me to do it, than letting you do it."

"C'mon, dude, that's just suicidal." Dean's hands unconsciously balled into fists.

Sam noticed that, surprised by such harsh reaction.

On second thought, he had been noticing some weird things about Dean and Castiel lately. Something he couldn't put his finger on, but there were small things that made him wonder. It was the way they sometimes looked at each other, as if they shared something nobody else knew about.

But the lingering glances weren't the only things Sam noticed. It was also in the way

Dean tried to hide the fact that he cared about Castiel. He tried to hide his worry when

Castiel didn't show up for too long a period of time. But in spite of that, Sam could see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. He knew his brother too well.

He remembered what Dean said to Castiel when the angel was watching over the demon

Crowley few days before that. And, more important, how he said it.

'_That's okay, you did great. We'll take it from here.' _assuring him, a bit too hurriedly, as if he was afraid Castiel would try to do all by himself and put himself in danger.

And now, again, he didn't want Castiel to deal with Lucifer alone. Sam knew it wasn't because Dean thought Cas would fail, but because he was afraid of losing him. The fact that Dean hid his fear with anger, like he was doing now, was another sign. All but screaming out.

"It will not make the mission less suicidal if you join me," Castiel objected calmly.

"No, but we will help. Dude, c'mon, we've talked about this, you can't do everything on your own."

"Do you doubt me, Dean?" something menacing flashed in the blue eyes.

To his surprise, Sam realized that Castiel was doing the same thing as Dean. He was

hiding his fear for the hunter, covering it with anger.

Somehow, it was all about those two again. Everybody else in the room was silent, watching the hunter and the angel, who acted like they were alone, paying little attention to the rest.

Dean stood up. He was not much taller than Castiel, but it was enough for him to look down on him, their faces inches away.

And that was one more thing. Despite of all Dean's complaints concerning personal space, Sam noticed that he often violated the angel's personal space himself. Although, he obviously did it unconsciously, and every time he noticed he was too close, he drew back hastily.

"We are going with you. End of story." the hunter turned away, finishing his coffee and trying to hide his flustered face.

There were few seconds of uncomfortable silence when Ellen, Jo, Bobby and Sam exchanged puzzled glances before Bobby cut in.

"Well, if you girls are done with your little catfight I suggest that you get going." he grumbled disapprovingly. "Why are you so touchy anyway, Dean?" he frowned. "The angel wants to stop his big brother from killin' us all, no surprise."

Although the question was half-rhetorical, Castiel answered it.

"I believe Dean is upset because Jo might be under an erroneous assumption of something she witnessed last night." He turned to face Jo. "Dean was not trying to kiss me, Jo, if that's what you are thinking."

Jo looked at him, stunned, her eyes wide.

Everybody else looked at Dean, stricken.

"He was just helping me to undress so I could sleep in his bed." Castiel added innocently.

Dean's jaw dropped. He didn't know what to say. There was no point in trying to argue, that would only make it worse. The only thing he could manage on the way out of the room was:

"Dude, you are so not riding in my car."

***


End file.
